Author: Alan

The Apprentice: The Apprentice’s Script Isn’t Right

The Apprentice: The Apprentice's Script Isn't Right

The Academy has found its next Oscar host. And no, it’s not Chris Rock or Alec Baldwin. Rather, it’s a white man with a very white voice.

But that’s not the shocking thing here. He’s a movie-buff, a former “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” graduate, and a former co-host of the reality show “The Apprentice.” And he really is “The Apprentice” — that is, the show where contestants try to get their boss to hire them (or, more usually, to fire them).

The show’s official slogan is “Get the right guy at the right time to make the right decision,” but the real goal is to get the boss to hire you, not to fire you — i.e., to make you the right person at the right time.


And “The Apprentice” is America’s largest reality-TV franchise, with over 3 million viewers each week, and a steady 9-to-11 percent of our national population are involved. The only other reality-TV franchise with over three million viewers is “Survivor,” which, like “The Apprentice,” is actually about getting people to vote as part of a reality-TV show.

As one of the two “new” hosts in the series, he’s had to go against an established former host and a former “Apprentice” contestant. And it shows.


At least on the first episode, this guy looked like he was having a hard time getting the script exactly right, and maybe he was. It’s like watching a bunch of actors on “Sesame Street,” and one of them is saying “No, that’s not a real sentence! No, that’s not a real sentence!”

This was an audition, and he didn’t make the first cut. Maybe he would have — if he hadn’t looked like he’d just finished giving a speech about how he’s the anti-Donald Trump. If this were “The Apprentice,” the guy would have been fired for, at the very least, not being up to the task. But it isn’t — and that was also apparently what the producers were after when they picked him.

The problem, you see, is that this is an “Apprentice” that doesn’t have a winner. There are two guys in the “new” team, both

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